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Half-Life: Opposing Force/Haikus

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7 Syllables

the half-life of lime 
jello nuclear bedtime story
crazy customizable
programmer's head on a stick
frictionless, massless mormon
put it in your report, bill 
i don't need the influence
i'm coming out of the booth 
in the middle of a storm
it tantalizes me so 
you are my favorite thing
i leave the windows open
and fed you to the chickens 
candy corn chicken fetus
the silhouette of a dog 
guns exploding all around
a rising column of smoke
you don't jump like a monkey

5 Syllables

i have to call chuck
rebel boat rocker
colostomy bag
walking in memphis
exploding midget
white cotton panties
nub technology
anonymous nub
more bunny justice
evil evil boy
you have been a fool
do not send me porn 
i must escape it
those creamy white thighs
keeping us all cool 
air conditioning
so what if I sweat
fresh air is so sweet
live mice sit on us 
digital squirrel
liquid banana
peas and hominy 
gravity assist
random tuna head
some quick goat thinking
a velvet codpiece
let's tease the weasels
nice vomiting spell
a specific dick 
the growing yodas