Hot Wheels: Velocity X (Game Boy Advance)

Hot Wheels: Velocity X
Developer: Saffire Publisher: THQ Platform: Game Boy Advance Released in US: October 31, 2002 Released in EU: December 6, 2002 This game has a hidden developer message. This game has unused text.

Oh dear, I do believe I have the vapors. This page contains content that is not safe for work or other locations with the potential for personal embarrassment. Such as: The developer message is a little vulgar.

Unused Text

At 0x4A190-0x4A1E3 in both the US and EU versions, a string leftover from a test build can be found, along with some functions.

Milestone 8.2 TEST
Lost 1 Cycle
Lost 2 Cycles
Lost 3 Cycles
Lost Many Cycles
CellSet Failed to load
Function Dispatcher: could not add function
Picking up Explosive Device
Picking up FindLocation
Picking up RightLocation
Picking up Location
Picking up ThermostatActivated
Picking up Token

Developer Message

A developer message which is a very strange story can be found at offsets 0x885D0-0x8906A in both versions. It was actually a message that was spread through e-mails and user blogs back in the mid-90s. It can also be found only in The Hobbit, Peter Pan: The Motion Picture Event and Around the World in 80 Days, three other Game Boy Advance games developed by Saffire. Formatting found in the ROM has been preserved.

                                   I LIKE MONKEYS
I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.  I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each.  I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.  I bought 200.  I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home.  I have a big car.  I let one drive.  His name was Sigmund.  He was retarded.  In fact, none of them were really bright.  They kept punching themselves in their genitals.  I laughed. Then they punched my genitals.  I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room.  They didn't adapt very well to their new environment.  They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall.  Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died.  No apparent reason.  They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.  Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do.  There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet.  It didn't work.  It got stuck.  Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals.  That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose.  It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber.  I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.  Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds.  I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them.  Little did I know my bed was flammable.  I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.  The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom.  I severely beat one of my monkeys.  I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates.  I told him that I had a wet one.  He couldn't take that one either.  I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution.  I gave them out as Christmas gifts.  My friends didn't know quite what to say.  They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying.  Ingrates.  So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys

(Source: Guru Larry)