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Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People/Baddest of the Bands

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This is a sub-page of Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People.

Cheat b/w Pom Pom Talk

In the english.langdb file are internal directions for The Cheat's lines, used by Matt Chapman to give the little guy the right intonations. As a bonus, this episode also includes dialogue for Pom Pom. Find out what the fat yellow guy and Pom Pom are really saying!

Context Subtitles Translation
The Cheat
Showing The Cheat the perfect album photo Me mer em me mehmer me mehrmeme, me! [That's so hot it's melting my eyeballs, man!]
Handing The Cheat an imperfect photo
Unused line
Meh, Me mer mehr, me me mehr me-me mehrme mehr me "meh". [Well, I look great, but the rest of this picture is still "meh".]
Giving The Cheat the fake sword without reading the contest form Me-me-me mehr-me me-me merh me?
Me-mher mher-me-mehr me mehr-me me-merh-me me.
[What am I supposed to do with that? It's got desperation and nerd sweat all over it.]
Cheering on the Two-O Duo Mi, mi, mi! [Raise the roof!]
Getting ready to take the perfect photo Mimihr me mi mimi mimimihr mi memihir!
Mi mihrmi me mimimimimimi!
[Hurry up and take the picture, already! I'm freezing my yam sack off in this thing!]
The Cheat makes up an excuse for why he's not on stage
This is different from what Strong Mad says, a "Strong Mad bass solo"
Me mher, mimi mimimimi. Mi merh mi memi miiiiii mehr! [Marzipan's doing one of her a cappella tirades against the annual Aleutian Ocelot Hunt,
which is cool, 'cause it gives me a chance to check out these totally crush groovers!]
Talking to The Cheat after the Cool Tapes sabotage Meeeehr, mi me mehr, meheer-meher-mehery meh, mi mehr! [Man, it's like the Loyola-Marymount Celery Festival all over again!]
Pom Pom
Trying to hand Homestar the concert entry forms Burble! [I handle all the kid's business deals, bub!]
Trying to hand Pom Pom the concert entry forms before Homestar joins Burble! Burble burble burble! burble burble burble burble! [No can do, Strong Bad! I'm updating my act! I won't be performing anywhere
until I've found a singer to add to augment my coolness.]
Trying again Burble-burble! [Can't talk - looking for partner]
After Homestar demurs from praise after his successful audition Burble burble! Bubble burble-burble! [All that talent and modest too. Listen, junor, I'm gonna make you a star!]
Homestar screws up his audition Burble. [Amateurs...]

Early sbemail Drafts

Hidden in the game's subtitles are early sbemail drafts, possibly written before The Brothers Chaps punched them up.

They're supposed to be subtitles for Strong Bad's spoken dialogue, but since the text appears on the Lappy anyway, they're unneeded and unused. Consequently, they were never updated from their original drafts.

All early e-mail text starts in english.langdb at 0x41D90.

Early Final
E-mail #1
Yo, S to the B,
I'm trying to come up with a good name for my band, but it
seems like all the good names are taken up. Any ideas?

Desperate,
No Name Brand Band ["Desperate Anomalous Band"]
in Seattle
Yo, S to the B,
I'm trying to come up with a good name for my band, but it
seems like all the good ones are taken. Any ideas?

No-Name Brand Band
E-mail #1 Response
I can see why you need help... "Desperate Anomalous Band"
is almost as lame as "Kajagoogoo" or "Travelling Wilburys."
For my money (which you may NOT borrow), the best bands
combine one of the so-called "Heavy Dee" words and a
gothically-mispelled weapon of some sort. Bands like
"DeathBlaid," "DemonNyfe" and, of course, "DarkSporc."

Rock on, DABsters, Strong Bad.
That's true, Brandy, all the good ones ARE taken.

That's why you need to start thinking of futuristic band
names like "My Personal Jetpack" or "The Robot Rebellion."
Ooh, ooh! Or "Really, Really, REALLY, Tiny Cell Phone."
That should be enough to get you started, but
I'm gonna need my royalties in 2086 dollars, or Globnars,
as they will then be called.

Thanks. SB.
E-mail #2
Dear Strong Bad,

In your opinion, when era of rock rocked the hardest?
Looking for validation,

Mark Darin
Dear Strong Bad,

In your opinion, when era of rock rocked the hardest?
Looking for validation,

Mark Darin
E-mail #2 Response
Dear Mr. Dariiiiiin, I'm sorry, but I don't validate here.
Check with Bubs. But I can tell you exactly when rock
rocked the hardest - Whe you were 18 to 24 years olds.

If you're not 18 yet, youre' in luck, 'cause you've got a
lot of sweet rockin' to look forward to. But if you're
over 24, man, it sucks to be you, 'cause rock's just gonna
get worse and worse until one day you'll realize you're
listening to a golden oldies station and moaning about all
that "consarned noise" kids listen to.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Men Without Hats to
put on the spinner.

Dancing Safely, Strong Bad
Sorry, Mark. I don't validate. Maybe check with Bubs. But
I can tell you exactly when rock rocked the hardest. When
you're 18 to 24 years old.

But if you're over 24 man, sucks to be you. Cause music
rocks less and less with each passing year, until the
next thing you know you're listening to the oldies
station and playing air guitar at a stop light next to a
car full of teenagers that spit and laugh at you. They
call that noise music!

Curmudgeoninglyly, Strongbad.
E-mail #3
Dear Strong,
You've gotta help me! One of my fellow coworkers won't
stop staring at me!

Creeped out of her mind, P. Louise
Dear Strong,
You've gotta help me! One of my coworkers won't stop
staring at me!

Creeped out of her mind,
P. Louise
E-mail #3 Response
Dear Pleweez, I can see how upsetting it would be to have
a fellow cow worker staring at you, especially when all
those doggies need ropin'!

When yours truly is stared at by his adoring masses I
usually try to direct their attention to useful
endevaors by dramatically pointing at nearby objects, like
pot roasts I'd like them to make, or home elctronics I'd
like them to purchase for me.

You should try it with cows you'd like punched, or barn
doors you'd like closed, or whatever it is you and your
cow workers do.

Yippee-ki-yi-ay, Strong Bad.
Yeah. How are you Cow Workers supposed to get them
do-ggies rollin' if somebody's staring at you?

When people stare at me, I just diver their attention to
something I want them to do, say or buy for me. Or in your
case, cows you'd like punched, barns you'd like raised, or
trails you would like to see happy.

Yippie kiyiyay, Strongbad.
E-mail #4
Dear Mr. B,
What's the worst thing you can do in a rock 'n' roll song?

Sincerely, Mike S.
Dear Mr. B,
What's the worst thing you can do in a rock 'n' roll song?

Sincerely,
Mike S.
E-mail #4 Response
Well, Mike 1, Mike 2, and assorted other Mikes, that's a
dang good question.

Frankly I think about the worst thing you can do in a rock
'n' roll song is sing ABOUT rock 'n' roll!

I mean, have you ever noticed that almost all the songs
that talk the coolness of rock 'n' roll are kinda the least
cool things ever?

Aw crap, now I've got "Built This City" in my head.

Excuse me, I need to find a hammer.

Rock on, Strong Bad.
Well assorted Mikes. You've already committed the worst
offense just in your email.

You referred to "Rock n' Roll." You sound like a dad man!
Oh how-de-hey boys, did you attend a Rock and Roll
concerto last night featuring the latest in Rock and Roll
bands? What's next? You gonna ask me what new video game
tapes I have for my Intenduh system?

You're a real hip dude, Mike. Nice work.

Four additional, more roughly formed e-mails can be found starting at 4A412.

subject: Fun Machine subject: Dirty Job subject: Inspiration subject: Bad Kitty
Dear Strong Bad,
Where can I get peripheralsfor my creaky old Videlectrix
Machine? I need to get my hands on one of those Feedback
Helmets for my old Brain Bashers cartridge.
Anxious,
Robert Anderson.
Dear El Strongo Baddo,
I need to find someone to clean out my sepctic tank...
cheap. On a completely unrelated note, what are you doing
next Saturday?
Quizzically,
Janet O'Day
Dear Strong Blad,
Where do you get your ideas?
Uninspired in Utica,
M. Moloney
Dear SB,
My cat Becky is going to be in cat show next month, but
she doesn't have much talent and coughs up enormous
hairballs whenever confronted by strangers. What can I do
to improve her chances?
Thanks,
Wendy Clark

Unused Lines

All subtitles are ripped directly from the game's english.langdb script file. Any errors or inconsistencies are intentionally preserved.

Some lines in the game script were never recorded. In lieu of an ID, those lines will have their offsets listed instead.

Test Conversation

This conversation, like the one in Homestar Ruiner, tests the dialogue system. This is at the butt-end of english.langdb.

STRONGBAD Hey there, butts. LOL!
STRONGSAD wut
(Blank) HARGABLARGABLARG!
STRONGBAD You smell like cabbage.
STRONGBAD i has teh cheez
STRONGBAD Awesome!

Alternate Lines

A couple of lines of dialogue were rewritten to clue the player in on puzzle solutions.

Early Line - 78949376 Final Line - 93277568
I knew I could count on you, The Cheat! I knew I could count on you, The Cheat!
I'll see you later at the shoot! Don't forget to wear a bikini!
Early Line - 79626496 Final Line - 89202176
Hey, the Cool Tapes! I love those guys!
Well, really, only one of those guys. Gals. Marzipan, actually.
Oh, it's another picture of Marzipan...
I'll just store it with all the others (sigh). Maybe someday,
I'll get the nerve to ask her to autograph one of these things...
Early Line - 91481600 Final Line - 80260864
(Subtitles differ from actual dialogue)
Tell me about it! For my last infomercial, I had to win
an essay contest just to get a celebrity endorsement from
the FBI's Most Wanted list! Though Biscuitdoughhandsman
sure helped me sell a lotta food processors!
Tell me about it! For my last infomercial, I skipped the
A-List, the B-List, and went straight to the FBI Most Wanted
list! Though Biscuitdoughhandsman sure helped me sell a lotta
food processors!
Early Line - 80461696 Final Line - 89225856
Man, I can't believe how many of those fruity little bats
Strong Sad has crammed all up in there!
Man, those fruity little bats are really packed in there!
It's like a giant pulsating wad of brown fur, teeth, and ears!

General

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
80449408
I can't WAIT until Limozeen comes to town! Intended to play when using the Limozeen flyer after winning the contest,
but that item disappears after winning the contest, so nope.
80449920
I should known this contest would be a rip-off. I bet Limozeen
won't even really USE my picture on their next album.
Another Limozeen flyer line, this one for when the concert is underway.
80475264
Burnt peasants smolder A haiku for an unimplemented item, the "Zen Thing"/"Zen Trogdor.
The subtitles for the latter two lines don't match up with the audio.
The rewritten second line is eight syllables, so it's not a "proper" haiku now.
80475392
Flaming houses in the night (Flaming cottages on fire)
80475520
Flaming cottages on fire (Trogdor Burninates)
80475648
Consummate V's, please Fumfering aside, this does follow the traditional 5-7-5 syllable structure.

That wasn't enough to save this from the ol' haiku junk pile, though.
80475776
Beefy arm glistens so bright
80475904
Um, uh, Majesty.
81997440
Homestar
Ok, now? Evil, right? Ok.
This line is in the Episode 4 trailer, but "Evil, right?" is muted in the used version.
86415872
Hmm, Club Technocholate, where shall I draw you? Both Club Technochocolate and The Track are unlocked at the same time.
The Track's map dialogue is used, and the club is automatically placed on the map.

House of Strong

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
78812416
I think these bats have had enough bubbly excitement for one bat-lifetime. Should play when using the bleached bat hutch on the washer, but it's not properly linked.
0x0C78B It's the old Strong family stereo, comlete with something called a "fo-no-graf."
Let's see what's on the radio...
Dialogue for a cut radio item. It was functionally replaced by the drive-thru whale.

This dialogue would play before fixing the radio with the hanger antenna.
78845312
Hmm...Nothin' but static.
78845952
Still nothin'. Guess it needs an antenna, or maybe a swift kick in the vacuum tubes or somethin. Additional dialogue when trying to use the broken radio.
78845056
Now that's some grade-A electrical imagineering! After fixing the radio, Strong Bad would congratulate himself, as he is wont to do.
0x15226 After it was banned for its barely recognizable depictions of multi-tentacled groupies
in alien spandex, all of the cartridges were buried in a concrete bunker in the Antarctic,
but I was able to score one before the MAN got his hands on it!
Unrecorded dialogue for the intro giving more importance to the Fun Machine's repairs.
78858240
Okay, let's just see what sort of lame loaner game Bubs has saddled me with while my
Fun Machine gets repaired...
These lines are for a cut Taranchula mini-game. Read on for more information.
78858368
Time for so more cheesy low-rent loaner game action...
78868736
Putting random, unaddressed photos in the mail box is sure-fire way to cheese off our mail man...
and you do NOT want to cheese off our mail man...whoever he may be.
This'd be used after trying to mail a picture with no knowledge of the album contest,
but the only way to get the right picture is to read the contest flyer...
0x31506 [process: over radio][in DJ voice] [from radio cartoon] Hey hey, it's the Deathly Pallor, comin' atcha
on numbitty 902, WA3D FM, The Sturge. Coming up next, we got commercials and traffic
from some hot new artists so don't you touch that zabbadaBLOW!
More lines related to the unimplemented radio item.
The item was cut before the dialogue could be properly ripped.
81088512
Man, Strong Sad's radio voice is so...unsettling.
80188640
Strong Sad
Turn it off, turn it off!
0x316FE [Get file from radio cartoon]
Rise and shine, people! The fish was delish. [canned laughter] Wait for it, wait for it! [clowny sounds]
And it made [boing!] quite a dish.
Another possible radio show with dialogue straight from the "radio" sbemail.
81088896
Argh. The only thing lower than "zany" morning DJ humor is "whacky" Internet humor.
81089024
Strong Sad
U r teh suck!
81089152
Strong Mad
LOLZ!
0x31904 [Get file from radio cartoon]
Okay, I am out of here for today, bu-but, um, but first up is an, um, er...an...an hour of... chanting.
Yet another radio show. Remember radios? They were big back in the day.
81088896
Good to hear that the ol' college radio station is just as coma-inducing as ever.
0x31A4A [Get file from radio cartoon]
This week on The Fish Was Delish progrum, brought to you by Portly Washboy laundry paste,—
The radio traveled back in time and strangled itself with its own cord.
81089664
Whoah, some radio waves traveled through time or bounced through a wormhole or somethin'...
0x31B8D [Get file from radio cartoon]
—we join The Fish down at the wharfs as he closes in on the Quite a Dish gang's hideout.
Stay tuned for partial excitement.
85484288
It's part of my art installation..."Smoke Detector with No Battery. Mixed Media. Ten thousand dollars." The Smoke Detector can't be interacted with, which doesn't bode well for the Strongs.

The Field

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
80251392
How're are those Fun Machine repairs going? The Fun Machine option is removed from the dialogue tree after Act I, so Bubs never gives any updates.
80251520
Bubs
They're going great! Once that ZProm from Caracas arrives, we'll be ready
to start tearing down your motherboard!
80251648
Any updates on my Fun Machine repairs? If it was possible to ask Bubs about the Fun Machine during the concert, this conversation would play.

He can't, though.
80251776
Bubs
Don't rush me, man! Do you know how hard it is to repair a game console,
promote a concert, AND maintain my boyish figure all at the same time?
80253184
What do I need to get my Battle of the Bands Concert started again? A short and ultimately unnecessary recap on how to get past the first act of the game from Bubs.
80253312
Bubs
Once you get some celebrity judges and find some idjit to run security,
you'll have to beat the bands away with a stick!
80253440
Hey, that's my favorite way to beat them!
80267648
I tried to sign the Uncool Tapes, but their pasty white butts're already doin
a benefit for some pasty white bats!
More unused hints from the Bubs, this time on how to recruit the Cool Tapes.
80267776
Bubs
Maybe if they weren't so endangered they wouldn't need a benefit.
80267904
Yeah! And that would benefit me! Thanks Bubs!
80267648
Well, I tried to get Pom-Pom to sign up, but he won't do it until he's found
a singer.
This isn't really a hint, but it's in the same spirit. This choice never comes up in the dialogue tree.
80267776
Bubs
Then you better find him one! Pom Pom's a big draw with the white-haired
lady crowd.
0x43E9E Drive-Thru Whale
[process: distorted speaker] This is why we can't have nice things!
Now this definitely isn't a hint. The Drive-Thru Whale's dialogue was never recorded, so what exactly
a speaker bouncing off a gold tooth would sound like is left as an exercise to the reader. Try it at home!
0x43F1E Drive-Thru Whale
[process: distorted speaker bouncing off a gold tooth]
This is why we can't have nice things!
85125248
The Cheat
Memihr? [What the heck?]

Marzipan's

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
78922880
Back you go, little Zen Rock. The Zen Rock can't be placed back in the garden.
78946688
Hey, The Cheat! Whattaya think if the album cover? If Strong Bad lowered his standards and kept imperfect pictures,
handing one of those to The Cheat would give this conversation.
78946816
The Cheat
Meh, Me mer mehr, me me mehr me-me mehrme mehr me "meh".
78947584
You're right, it's good, but it still need something to push it over the cliff.
I love pushing stuff over cliffs!
83785600
Let me get another autograph! Instead of having this conversation after handing Marzipan a signed glossy,
the game skips this nonsense and goes straight to the autograph dialogue tree.
83785728
Marzipan
Sure. Do you mind if I re-use one you've already got? We're running low.

The Track

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
79629056
Coach Z
This isn't for me! What's the big idea?!
An early version of Coach Z's response to an incorrectly autographed glossy.
79629696
Coach Z
[nuke this line][happy] Lucious Marzipan and the Cool Tapes!
Oh, I'll be sure to put this in my hope locker next to my lucky cup!
The first version of Coach Z's response to an autographed glossy. Not nuked.
0x3D64B {angry} Since when do you have a [getting sick] (urp) crush on (blech) Marzipan? Coach Z's creepin' on Marzipan was already well established, so this was cut.
0x3D6DD Coach Z
I'm not sure. {angry} I think it started last week when I accidentally listened
to the Cool Tapes latest album 27 consecutive times in one sitting.
{sad} After a while, it was like Marzipan was singing those songs only for me!
0x3D808 {sad} Yeah, that makes sense.


Club Technochocolate

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
80055296
How bout we get some music going up in here? If it was possible to place one of the other records on the turntable in the club,
this conversation would play. Unfortunately, all of the other records are in Act III.
80055424
Pom Pom
Burble! [Turn off that noise!]
82197248
What'd I do?
82197376
Homestar
Pom Pom's trying to hold auditions, Strong Bad. He only wants to hear his own material.


Battle Royale of the Bands

PomStar Stage

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
79725568
Take a look at this! One final "bad picture" conversation that's inaccessible due to SB's pickiness.
The cardboard Homestar referenced here is still in the game's files.
79725696
Marzipan
That's a very nice picture of Limozeen, Strong Bad, but I'm kinda busy right now.
79725824
Hmm, looks like Marzipan can't tell the difference between real-life Limozeen
and a cardboard facsimilitude, which might explain her current boyfriend...
79725952
I wonder how I can use this to my advantage?
79671680
Marzipan
Will someone please turn off that thing off?
A cut response to The Whale's line that brings on Homestar's fall from grace.
79673216
Coach Z
I can't believe I was about to throw my undesirables onstage!
More disturbing dialogue from Coach Z, cut from when the crowd turns on Homestar.
0x2AD12 Perry Palaroncini
I want marry him AND be him! I'm so confused!
Unrecorded dialogue that's part of the PomStar (pre-sabotage) Limozeen dialogue.
0x2AE7C So, Homestar's performance is a lot like one of Pom-Pom's old shows, huh? A subsequent conversation about PomStar that never got past the writing stage.
0x2AEFD Larry Palaroncini
It's uncannytastic, man!
0x2AF51 Larry Palaroncini
He's like a a white, armless, skinny clone Pom-Pom clone.
0x2AFC6 Perry Palaroncini
Yeah, man... a white, armless, skinny clone...
0x2B140 Gary Palaroncini
I'm so disillusioned!
Lastly, here are two lines cut from Strong Bad's conversation with Limozeen
about PomStar after the sabotage.
0x2B190 Perrry Palaroncini
To think I wanted to carry his babies...
82441728
Bubs
You shut yer face! !
This line actually is used, in-between Coach Z's
"Loves me like a brother" and "Hates me like a brother, too!" lines. But for some reason, it is only heard in extended play at the Track, and a conspicuous pause is in its place at the stage, where the same dialogue is used.

Two-O Duo Stage

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
0x1DF39 Man, Bubs is cuttin' those records like he's some type of samurai
that's also a good DJ.
Bubs isn't on full DJ duty in the final game, but on keytar, so this conversation was cut.
0x1DFB8 A merciful guy would pull the plug on this cringe-shattering performance...
Too bad I don't know any of those.
79784320
Y-Y-Y-Yo, Bubs! Nice work with the scri-scri-scritchitty-scratching. Another early Bubs exchange, though this one was at least partially recorded.
0x1E0DB Bubs
Can't talk now, Strong Bad!
0x1E0DB Bubs
I'm got my hands full feedin' Coach Z a steady diet of p-hunky [pee-hunky]
p-hat [pee-hat] dance moves to accentuate his dopey rhymes!

D.O.I. Stage

Sound ID Sound Subtitles Comments
79839616
Behind that tarp is the jaw-dropping stage-propping that's gonna lead DOI to victory
once the crowd gets a load of it.
The tarp covering the massive prop is supposed to be clickable, but it's just too awesome.
79839744
Soon, my proppa prop, soon... As Strong Bad gets the concert going, his response to the tarp would change.
79840256
Friggin' frig! Nobody can see my masterpiece behind this fog of bats... and fog! Even when the prop's been dropped, it can't be clicked upon while bats are about.

All Stages

The members of Limozeen had a lot of dialogue cut out from the concert sequence. All of these lines are related to the "Concert" conversation option, which was meant to give different dialogue depending on how many bands were sabotaged. Instead, only one conversation is used regardless of the other bands' current standings.

No Bands Sabotaged (First Time)
0x28B85 Strong Bad: So, in your professional opinion as the totally unbiased judges of the Battle Royale of the Bands (a Might strong Bad production),
which band's in the lead right now?
80138240
Larry Palaroncini: That's a good question, man!
0x28CBB Larry Palaroncini: Let's take a look at the Squeedily-Dee-O-Meter!
0x28D26 Larry Palaroncini: Whoa, dude, it's looking like a three way tie for first!
0x28D9A Perry Palaroncini: The only band the looks to be out of the running are those sucktards in D.O.I.
0x28E24 Perry Palaroncini: Yeah, dude. All the otherbands would have to come down with a serious case of the suck for those losers to win!
80138880
Larry Palaroncini: Ha-ha-haaaa!
0x28F18 Gary Palaroncini: Ha-ha-haaaa!
0x28F5F Perry Palaroncini: Ha-ha-haaaa!
80139264
Strong Bad: Grrrr.
No Bands Sabotaged (Subsequent)
0x28FE5 Strong Bad: How's my contest going?
0x29034 Larry Palaroncini: Aside from those dips in D.O.I., everyone's really rockin' the house!
0x290B5 Strong Bad: Hey, those dips are my bandmates!
0x2910E Larry Palaroncini: Sorry man.
0x29154 Strong Bad: No, you're right. They are dips.
One Band Sabotaged (First Time)
0x291AD Strong Bad: How's the Contest going?
0x291FD Larry Palaroncini: Great, man! We just met tsome tall-haired groupies, and--
0x29273 Strong Bad: Yeah, yeah, you're a bunch of hedonistic rock gods, I get it! What about the Bands?
0x292FF Gary Palaroncini: Let's check the big board...
0x29356 Perry Palaroncini: Whoah, dude, we've had a shakeup!
0x293B3 Larry Palaroncini: Looks like one of our bands has taken a tumble, leaving two rockin' acts fightin' it out for Battle Royale glory!
0x29460 Gary Palaroncini: D.O.I.'s still bringing up the rear, I see.
0x294C6 Perry Palaroncini: Man, do those guys bite the big one or what?
One Band Sabotaged (Subsequent)
0x2952E Strong Bad: Any change in the Sqeedily-Dee-O-Meter?
0x2958D Larry Palaroncini: Nope, still two bands in the lead, one band faltering, and D.O.I. making the rest of them look good.
Two Bands Sabotaged (First Time)
0x2962D Strong Bad: Has the status of the Battle Royale been changed lately?
0x2969D Larry Palaroncini: Huh? Oh, sorry, I was busy back here at Limozeen Central with my accountant, Dave. Say hi, Dave.
0x2973B David: [boringly] Defered Capital Gains Distributions to the Maximum, Larry!
0x297B3 Larry Palaroncini: Awesome, Dave! Let's see what's happenin' over at the Sqeedily-Dee-O-Meter......
0x29840 Perry Palaroncini: In-freakin-believable, man!
0x29897 Larry Palaroncini: Looks like there's only one band left with any serious rock sauce! If they succumb to the same wave of lameness as everyone
else, D.O.I. might actually have a shot at winning this thing.
0x2998E Larry Palaroncini: Yeah, but what happens if they start succumbing to the same wave of lameness that's swept the rest of the show!?
Could D.O.I. win this thing after all?
0x29A62 Larry Palaroncini: Nahhhh.
0x29AA5 Perry Palaroncini: Nahhhh.
0x29AE8 Gary Palaroncini: That'd be stupid.
0x29B34 Strong Bad: [to himself] That's right! Two down, one to go!
Two Bands Sabotaged (Subsequent)
0x29B9B Strong Bad: Any last-second updates on the Battle Royale?
0x29C00 Larry Palaroncini: Nope, still one band standing firm against a plague of suckitude.
0x29C7D Larry Palaroncini: I hope theycan hang on. I'd hate to give it to those twerps in D.O.I.
0x29CFF Perry Palaroncini: Yeah, that'd make me sad. And angry. But mostly sad.
Concert Status, Final Draft (First time / Alternate version)
0x3F87E Strong Bad: In your cardboard opinion, who's winning right now?
0x3F8F4 Larry Palaroncini: Don't ask me, man, the Squeadily-Dee-O-Meter knows all and shreds all!
0x3F983 Larry Palaroncini: I'd look at it myself, but our camera doesn't turn that far.

Taranchula Game

An entire sub-game was cut from the original game plan. This would be a game that Bubs would loan to Strong Bad while the Fun Machine was under repair. It didn't get past the writing stage; None of the dialogue was recorded, there are no graphics or textures in the game's data archive, and the lines aren't linked up to any script in the game.

The developers probably ran out of time, energy, or inspiration to create two different mini-games for one episode.

Text starts at 0x40B3C in english.langdb.

Title Screen
"Taranchula's Rockin' Rampage?" When did those lovable Scandanvian Death Metal Imps find the time to make a video game?
All right, foes of metal, prepare for a feast of Liquid Crystal Destruction!
For a loaner game, Taranchula's Rockin Rampage ranks remarkably low on my personal suck-o-meter.
Death by Wolverine
Gah! Stupid anti-metal wolverines!
Wolverines! [pronounced slowly, like he's shaking his fist at a Perducci]
Death by Magnifying Glass Guy
I can't believe I got nabbed by a guy with a magnifying glass for a body!
Gack!
No way!
Death by Mister Meister
That Mister Meister is one tough meester
Eek!
Curse you, Mister Meister... [mumbles]whatever the heck you are...
Death by Protesters
I HATE busybody protestors!
Stop hitting me with that placard!
Grrrr....
Game Over
Cripes, I lost.
You won this round, evil uncool forces of musical oppression, but when next we meet the Liquid Crystal Day will belong to Strong Bad, er, Taranchula
Argh. Rest easy, Taranchula, Strong Bad will avenge your deaths... someday. When I'm bored.
Man, that game is HARD!
Defeating Enemies
Eat pungent death metal, wolverines!
Hey hey, ho ho, whiny protestors have got to go!
You will submit to the decoupage!
[making musical weapon sounds] Pew! Pew! Pew!
General Comments
Man, those groupies are smokin'... in a liquid crystal way.
These cheap little speakers really bring the music of Tarnachula to life!
It's amazing how accurately this game simulates the real-life dangers of an actual Taranchula concert!
I wonder which one of those guitars is supposed to be Dave Olafstenston, and which is supposed to be Dave Bjornborg?
[making heavy metal noises] bwou bwou bowu!
Beating a Stage
Hah! Taranchula rules!
Ha! [Singing] Burn! Burn! Burn!
All right! I rock!
Whoa mama! Strong Bad in the house!
If this keeps up, I'll have to get my thumbs bronzed!
[screamy voice] Yayyy, Strong Bad, you rock!
Drum Break
Drum solo!
Time for a drum break!
Off to you, McDoo!
Nothing clears a crowd like a drum solo...

Unused Graphics

File Name Image Comments
obj_cardboardhomestar Glasses not included This was used in the "bad photo" conversation between Strong Bad and Marzipan. That purple thing he's holding is her purse.
ui_icon_boombox103 Hello. I am a boombox An unused item or dialogue option for a boombox. Possible related to the cut stereo item, which uses the default balloon icon instead.
This is the same boombox icon used in Episode 1, Homestar Ruiner, but with a different filename.
(Source: Original TCRF research)