Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It

Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It
Developer: Infocom Publisher: Infocom Platforms: Amiga, Apple II, Atari ST, Commodore 64, DOS, Mac OS Classic Released in US: September 1987 This game has unused code. This game has unused items. This game has unused abilities. This game has unused text.

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Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It is what happens when you organize an entire game around wordplay.

Sub-Pages

Unused Verbs And we will definitely be spending a lot of time talking about MASTURBATION!

Unused Code

Buy the Farm

		;<MOVE ,SOW-EAR <LOC ,PURSE>>
		;<REMOVE ,PURSE>
		;<MOVE ,PURSE ,GLOBAL-OBJECTS>
		;<TELL 
"It goes back to a sow's ear. (for pig missing ear)" CR>)>>

Code for turning the purse back into a sow's ear. You can't do this in the final game.

;(LDESC "This is barn. Ladder up.")

A very succinct description of the farm's barn.

;"With your upturned face anxiously upturned, you acsend the ladder."

Text meant to be printed when you climb the barn's ladder. Note the typo.

;<ROUTINE MOUNTAIN-F ()
	 <COND (<AND <VERB? SET>
		     <PRSI? ,MOLEHILL>>
		<MOVE ,MOUNTAIN ,HERE ;<LOC ,MOLEHILL>>
		<REMOVE ,MOUNTAIN>
		<TELL 
"It turns back to molehill." CR>)>>

Code for turning the mountain back into a molehill, which can't be done in the final game.

Shopping Bizarre

"The chocolate mousse fluffed up to a delicate, supreme deliciosity, is
eye-closingly pucker wonderful, and now all gone."

Text for eating the chocolate mousse. In the final game, it says "You would end up with the hugest stomachache you've ever had!" if you try to eat the moose, and "Don't eat profits." if you try to eat the mousse.

;<ROUTINE SHELF-DESC (SHELF)
	 <COND (<FIRST? .SHELF>
		<COND (<EQUAL? .SHELF ,FREEZER>
		       <TELL " Sitting in " D ,FREEZER " is">)
		      (T
		       <TELL " Shelves here contain">)>
		<D-CONTENTS .SHELF>
		;<TELL ,PERIOD>)
	       (T
		<RFALSE>)>>

Code for shelves in the freezer. In the final game, the shelves are in the misc area.

"toasted oats"

Of all the things the cereal murderer can eat, this is the only one commented out.

;<OBJECT CHEWS
	(LOC MUSSEL-SHELF)
	(OLDDESC "chews")
	(NEWDESC "choose")
	(SYNONYM CHEWS CHOOSE TOBACCO)
	(ADJECTIVE CHEWING)
	(FLAGS OLDBIT)
	(ACTION CHEWS-F)>

;<ROUTINE CHEWS-F ()
	 <COND (<OR <NOUN-USED ,CHEWS ,W?CHEWS ,W?TOBACCO>
		    <ADJ-USED ,CHEWS ,W?CHEWING>>
		<FSET ,CHEWS ,OLDBIT>
		<FCLEAR ,CHEWS ,NARTICLEBIT>
		<FSET ,CHEWS ,PLURALBIT>)
	       (<NOUN-USED ,CHEWS ,W?CHOOSE>
		<FCLEAR ,CHEWS ,OLDBIT>
		<FSET ,CHEWS ,NARTICLEBIT>
		<FCLEAR ,CHEWS ,PLURALBIT>)>> 

An unused "chews"/"choose" item.

			     ;(<NOT <IN? ,BRAT ,HERE>>
			      <TELL "She climbs o">
			      <COND (<FSET? <LOC ,BRAT> ,SURFACEBIT>
		       		     <TELL "ff">)
		      		    (T
		       		     <TELL "ut of">)>
			      <TELL T <LOC ,BRAT>>)

Code for where the worst brat goes after you transform her from the bratwurst.

"These are a pair of actual, menacing bear claws."

An alternate description for the bear claws. In the final game, it says "These are bear claws, the food."

	       ;(<EQUAL? .RARG ,M-ENTER>
		<TELL "You descend some rickety stairs." CR CR>)>>

Unused text for entering the cellar.

In a Manor of Speaking

<ROUTINE ID-ROOM-F (RARG)
	 <COND ;(<AND <EQUAL? .RARG ,M-BEG>
		     ,GETTING-INPUT>
		<COND (<L? <GETB ,P-LEXV ,P-LEXWORDS> 5>
		       <TELL 
"Come on, not so tight-lipped! You can be more floral in your prose than
that." CR>)
		      (T
		       <SETG GETTING-INPUT <>>
		       <SAVE-INPUT ,FIRST-BUFFER>)>)
	       ;(<AND <EQUAL? .RARG ,M-BEG>
		     <NOT <FSET? ,ID-ROOM ,RMUNGBIT>>
		     <VERB? WALK WALK-TO>>
		<FSET ,ID-ROOM ,RMUNGBIT>
		<SETG GETTING-INPUT T>
		<SETG AWAITING-REPLY 2>
		<QUEUE I-REPLY 2>
		<TELL 
"So, you're just going to walk away from my lovingly crafted description
of your opulent surroundings, just like ">
		<ITALICIZE "that">
		<TELL ", huh? Well! Do you think ">
		<ITALICIZE "you">
		<TELL " can do better?" CR>)

A few unused interactions in the room with flowery language.

Meet the Mayor

;"One edge of the square has been advanced
upon by the encroaching forest, as it is dense with trees and shrubbery"

An unused piece of descriptive text for the town square area.

	       ;(<VERB? OPEN>
		<TELL 
"You can barely reach the lid, and wouldn't be able to break the seal anyway."
CR>)

Code for trying to open the lid of the jar.

Shake a Tower

;"You come upon a clearing. A distraught father has lost his daughter.
He wanders along the road with his head down. The road not taken or such.
One of the eight roads. Is pessimistic of his
chances for finding her. 'they will go to great lengths to keep her from me.'"

An unused description of the clearing. In the final game, it just says "You're in a clearing of a deep, dark forest."

;"Shut down no doubt for polluting violations.
Choice spot for a polluting factory in a out of the way inlet of the Rhine.
It's frigid and icy inside. Charred and smeared with charcol walls.
It's a dim and nasty-looking place, clothing factory and who knows what
else. A grimy, narrow passage leads back into a stock room."

An earlier description of the factory. In the final game, it says "This is an old factory. A passage leads into a back room."

	       ;(<EQUAL? .OARG ,M-OBJDESC ,M-OBJDESC?>
		<COND (<EQUAL? .OARG ,M-OBJDESC?>
		       <RTRUE>)>
		<TELL CR "A wooden cart">
		<COND (,HORSE-TO-CART
		       <TELL " with a horse hooked up to it">)>
		<TELL " sits in the dusty road here.">)
	       ;(<EQUAL? .OARG ,M-BEG>
		<COND (<OR <AND ,PRSO
				<IN? ,PRSO ,HERE>
				<NOT <EQUAL? ,PRSO ,ICICLE>>>
			   <AND ,PRSI
				<IN? ,PRSI ,HERE>
				<NOT <EQUAL? ,PRSI ,ICICLE>>>>
		       <MOVE ,PROTAGONIST ,HERE>
		       <SETG OLD-HERE <>>
		       <TELL "[getting off the bicycle first]" CR>)>

Near the icicle part is this unused text, referencing the "square meal"/"mare squeal" puzzle.

<JIGS-UP "You're all sewn up.">)
			     (T
			      ;"he's needling you ..."

An unused line related to the client's needles sewing you.

<COND ;(<OR <NOUN-USED ,JEAN-STOCK ,W?STALK>
		    <ADJ-USED ,JEAN-STOCK ,W?BEAN>>
		 
		<TELL
"The mile-high stack of jeans slowly leans heavily into your direction and
as it passes the point of no return in a chaos of color, fabric and rivets,
all the jeans come tumbling down upon your head, burying you completely in
blackness.|
|
When you come to, it's in a new environment..." CR CR>
		<GOTO ,STALK-ROOM>) 

An early description for the stack of jeans. Originally, it was going to fall on you instead of you needing to climb it. In the final game, it says "A dizzying kaleidoscope of jeans surrounds you, notable among them is one stack that climbs as high as the eye can see, toward the murky upper reaches of this ceilingless room of the factory."

;"There's a clucking finch here."

Unused code in the stalk room. Try coming up with the spoonerism for this one.

Play Jacks

"as the other features
of the jack-of-all-trades seem to become blurry and indistinct and fade away like
a mirage. You blink your eyes and shake your head, and as your vision clears,
you feel a jackrabbit squirming in your hands."

Originally, you were able to carry the jackrabbit around. In the final game, he instead darts off, making it unwinnable if you use him anywhere outside the intended puzzle.

;<ROUTINE HEAR-FROST ()
	 <COND (<NOT <FSET? ,FROST ,HEARDBIT>>
		<FSET ,FROST ,HEARDBIT>
		<TELL 
"Tiny flakes of snow drift from the frozen features of his face as the man
begins to speak." CR CR>)>>

Code for listening to Jack Frost speak.

<COND (<EQUAL? ,FROST ,WINNER>
		<SEE-FROST>
		<COND ;(<AND <VERB? TELL-ABOUT>
			    ;<PRSO? ,ME>
			    <PRSI? ,ICE>>
		       <TELL "\"The ice is dangerous.\"" CR>)

Code for asking Jack Frost about ice.