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The Hobbit (Game Boy Advance)

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Title Screen

The Hobbit

Also known as: Hobbit no Bouken (JP)
Developer: Saffire
Publishers: Sierra Entertainment (EU/US), Konami (JP)
Platform: Game Boy Advance
Released in JP: January 20, 2005
Released in US: November 11, 2003
Released in EU: October 24, 2003

DevMessageIcon.png This game has a hidden developer message.
DevTextIcon.png This game has hidden development-related text.

And you were just a scroll away from being fired too...
Oh dear, I do believe I have the vapors.
This page contains content that is not safe for work or other locations with the potential for personal embarrassment.
Such as: The developer message is a little vulgar.

Bilbo Baggins' journey to defeat the dragon Smaug, on a handheld.

Developer Message

This weird developer message is located at offsets 0x365250-0x365CEA in the US version, 0x365290-0x365D2A in the EU one and is absent in the JP version.

It can also be found only in Hot Wheels: Velocity X, Peter Pan: The Motion Picture Event and Around the World in 80 Days, other Game Boy Advance games developed by Saffire. The developer didn't actually write this story, it was a message that was actually spread through user groups and e-mails around in the mid-1990s. Original formatting found in the ROM has been preserved.

                                   I LIKE MONKEYS
I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.  I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each.  I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.  I bought 200.  I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home.  I have a big car.  I let one drive.  His name was Sigmund.  He was retarded.  In fact, none of them were really bright.  They kept punching themselves in their genitals.  I laughed. Then they punched my genitals.  I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room.  They didn't adapt very well to their new environment.  They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall.  Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died.  No apparent reason.  They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.  Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do.  There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet.  It didn't work.  It got stuck.  Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals.  That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose.  It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber.  I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.  Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds.  I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them.  Little did I know my bed was flammable.  I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.  The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom.  I severely beat one of my monkeys.  I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates.  I told him that I had a wet one.  He couldn't take that one either.  I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution.  I gave them out as Christmas gifts.  My friends didn't know quite what to say.  They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying.  Ingrates.  So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys
(Source: Guru Larry)

Build Date

Present in all the versions (offsets written below each one), right after the above developer message's end in the EU and US versions. A build date after this developer message can also be found in Peter Pan: The Motion Picture Event and Around the World in 80 Days.

0x365D48 - 0x365D62
0x365D08 - 0x365D22
0x367D68 - 0x367D82
Jun  5 2003
May 19 2003
Jul 20 2004

(EU/JP build dates discovery: WaluigiBSOD)